Linda Rosen Dry Bandages Review: This Story needs a Bandage

This Story Needs a Bandage

Review of short story Dry Bandages by Linda Rosen 20/20

Every once in awhile I come across a writer that does not make sense to me. Ms. Rosen is one of those. Before the pandemic, she was part of a panel of experts at the Delray Beach Library to discuss crafting a short story. This event was promoted by the Women National Book Association so being a paying member I thought I'd go. Ms. Rosen represented herself to an audience of writers as an expert on the art of story writing. To get to that point she would have to have an intimate knowledge of non-negotiable structuralist denominators,  character development, and plotline advancement. 

I was happy to be a part of the talk and invite learning. Sadly,  nothing could be further from the truth. 

I was hoodwinked into accepting the advice of someone who was not a specialist in any of these things but rather a butcher of all.  Who. What. Where. When. How? Ms. Rosen has heard of none of these short story rules. The WNBA  of South Florida run by President Andrea Baron used their platform to mislead attendees into believing that they were learning from an experienced writer.  Writing is a wonderful craft but when you play professional and impart knowledge you will get the professional back. So I am sorry I could not be more encouraging or supportive.  I am reviewing a piece put in front of me with questionable publishing credits. 

Mrs. Rosen's story Dry Bandages is missing the most basic element of any story ever known to mankind, the character arch! This is the glue of the story which moves the charter from one state of being to another either to grow in a positive or negative way.  Without it, Dry Bandages is a non-story;  served on a lime green plate, piled six inches high, with hundreds of neon pink question marks about two inches long. 

 It's a story of so many questions and no structural elements. Ms. Rosen is not a person qualified to teach anyone how to write short stories. And if she did not infiltrate herself on the board of the Women's National Book Association South Florida Chapter as Vice President and Vice President of Programming, Ms. Rosen would be taking a course on the basics of writing.  Can you spell conflict of interest?  Onward with the review. 

We meet the main character Diane who is lying in a hospital bed after an "accident." We don't know her age, ethnicity where she lives but we do know her hair is red.  We also know she's got twelve stitches on her forehead, her nose is packed with gauze because it was broken? Her face is bound up like a mummy.  Is this a mystery story? Sadly not.  There are so many things we don't know. 

We don't know anything about her "accident."  Was she sitting on a beach and coconut hit her on the head at the same time a gang of sea lice crawled up her bathing suit? Did she open the refrigerator in a drunken stupor and hit herself? Was she beaten up? Did someone take a short story collection and hit her in the face? 

But we do know her husband's name. It's  Stan. We don't know what he looks like, what he does why he's even there, what time of day it is, or if he had lunch.

The climax of the story occurs when Diane wants a kiss from Stan. He won't give it to her and I'm not sure why. (More things we don't know.) Does she stink of pus? Is he allergic to gauze? Was he going to ask her for a divorce before the mystery accident? Is she annoying? Does her red hair smell funny?

Whatever it is Diane is upset her won't kiss her under all those bloody smelly bandages that she begins to cry, and Stan reminds her in a children's rhyme, "Please don't cry. the bandages have to stay dry." Yep, that's his advice to his wife after a life-changing accident.

And it just gets worse when her brother-in-law Josh the doctor enters who looks like who? And is from where?  And works in what hospital? And is how old?  But nonetheless, he braves the bandages and gives her a kiss and she purses her lips and struggles to hold back her tears.

In conclusion, dry bandages should be used to wrap this story up and rework. 

Everyone deserves a second chance, right?

Her second short story Ms. Rosen is consistent. No character arch, no crafting or any required elements that define short stories or any stories  EVER.  Through the Peep Hole" is s racist stereotypical portrayal of a man with "onyx shin" who's body smells "festers in her nose, cigarette, armpits tobacco, and sweat," mugs her outside of her apartment door and low and behold realizes he's got the wrong white  girl.  

This is the archetype of the "brute black man" which has plagued literature since the 30's. 

The Brute, instead of leaving  grabs her purse, hands it to her politely asks for 5 dollars for a cab -which would get you two blocks NYC. What if she only had credit cards, what would happen then? So he leaves and she waits. THE END.

(The publication The Dying Goose cannot be found and the publication Cracked the Spine had no search of her work) 

Short story 101 is where Ms. Rosen belongs not on a panel of "experts" to discuss the elements of short story writing. She should also study why racist stereotypes are so dangerous.